at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
