There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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