I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
