In the future we'll all be gay
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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