fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
