I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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