I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
