She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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