So drunk, too bad you don't want this
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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