meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
