Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize