Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
