Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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