Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
