Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
