so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Text me some of your sweat
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