They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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