Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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