tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
