Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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