Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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