He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
