Got a toothbrush?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just made out with a guy for $7.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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