how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
