and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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