My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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