I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
