The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
return my video game
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
