I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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