It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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