Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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