So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
