She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
