I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
