so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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