Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize