Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
