Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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