God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
