"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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