Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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