It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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