used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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