This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
