You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
