why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize