So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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