I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My pussy is not your playground.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
