If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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