I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
