saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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