i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were destined to go to rehab together
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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