Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
