You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
