can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I deserve this hangover.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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