Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
