not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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