I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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