no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We had to coat check the pizza.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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