how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
